The Relationship Agreement Template

We put an enormous amount of thought into our careers, our homes, our finances and our futures. But when it comes to relationships, there’s this assumption that if you love each other enough, the rest will fall into place. Something as significant as the person you build your life with deserves a little more intention than that.

How do you want your relationship to work? How do you want your relationship to act in the world? What do you expect from each other? What does being a good partner actually mean to each of you?

The Relationship Agreement Template gives you the substance to talk about all these things, make decisions together and put them into words.

You can love each other and still have very different expectations

…about money, work and how much time you spend together. About whose family you visit for the holidays, how often you have date nights or who does the cleaning.

We all bring our own ideas about relationships with us. Some come from our families, some from our cultures, some from previous relationships. And some we’ve never really stopped to question. The problem is that what seems obvious to you might never have occurred to your partner.

There’s real value in sitting down and asking: is this how we actually want to do things? Or have we just ended up doing them this way?

Your relationship is yours to define and build.

You get to decide what a good relationship looks like for the two of you.

You can keep the traditions you love, question the expectations you’ve inherited and come up with arrangements that suit the life you’re building.

That means both talking about the big things and getting specific about the little everyday things. Saying you value quality time is a great place to start, but deciding how you’ll make time for each other when work gets busy gives you something to act on.

This template helps you get into those details, with selectable options, guidance notes and space for your own answers.

What’s in it?

• Your relationship and shared future: what you want to build together, what matters to you and how you define your relationship.
• Privacy: what you share, what stays between you and your access to outside support.
• Money: how you organise your finances, split expenses, make major decisions and recognise unpaid care.
• Time: daily connection, date nights, work boundaries and communication when you’re apart.
• Physical contact and intimacy: affection, consent, changing needs, sexual health and relationship boundaries.
• Wellbeing and communication: how you support each other, express love, give feedback and approach conflict.
• Vacations, rituals and celebrations: making room for rest, traditions and things worth celebrating.
• Family and chosen family: visits, holidays, house guests, support, caregiving and boundaries.
• Work and shared space: ambitions, projects, household responsibilities and living together.
• Personal commitments and change: promises to each other, reviewing your agreement and what happens when circumstances change or a relationship ends.

Why we made ours

When my husband and I met at 23, we fell in love instantly. The only problem was he’s Australian, and I’m an American who was living in Italy.

Shortly after we met, I moved to Australia to be with him and we discovered what it actually meant to bring two people with different backgrounds together. We were young and making very big decisions very quickly. We needed to talk about how we wanted our relationship and our life to actually work.

Putting an agreement together gave us a reason to have those conversations early. It helped us build trust, especially the more specific we got. And we learned a lot about each other. It was fun.

Take date nights: our agreement included how often we would have them, how we’d plan them and what would happen if we missed one. We discovered that while agreeing to spend time together matters, actually making time for each other was another thing entirely.

This template grew out of that agreement. The point is for you to work out what belongs in yours.

A great date night activity

Get comfortable, open the template and see where the conversation goes.

You might discover something you didn’t know about each other. You might have a spirited discussion about how long your parents should be allowed to stay with you. You might find that something you’ve each assumed for years has never actually been agreed on.

Some conversations will be serious. Others can be fun. You’re deciding what you want your life together to look like, there should be room to enjoy that!

And if you’re long distance, make it a video-call date. You don’t have to be in the same room to get started.

One purchase. Three formats.

• Printable PDF: a 21-page template with writing lines for completing by hand.
• Fillable PDF: type your answers into the fields and save your completed agreement.
• Editable Word document (.docx): change the wording, add your own clauses and remove anything that doesn’t apply.

All three versions are in English and included in your purchase. This is a digital product; nothing will be shipped.

Who is it for?

Couples who want to be intentional about their relationship.

You might be dating, long distance, moving in together or already sharing a life. You might be making a big decision or simply realising that there are things you’ve never properly discussed.

You don’t need to be together for a long time or share a home or a bank account. You just need to be willing to listen to each other and be honest about what you want.

The template uses “Partner One” and “Partner Two” and is written for two partners.

How to use it

1. Choose your format. Print it, use the fillable PDF or edit the Word document.
2. Work through it together. Discuss each section before recording your answers. Ask what your choices would look like in everyday life.
3. Make it your own. Choose what fits, discuss what doesn’t and leave anything unresolved open.
4. Keep a copy each and set a review date. Your lives will change. You can revisit your agreement too.

There’s no prize for finishing it in one sitting. Give the conversations the time they need.

For the fillable PDF, use Adobe Acrobat Reader on a computer and test saving a few answers first. Browser viewers and other PDF apps can handle interactive fields differently.

For the Word version, use software that supports .docx files. Formatting may vary between applications. Keep an untouched original of your files.

A few questions you might have

Do we have to agree with everything in the template?

Absolutely not. Read it, question it and discuss it. Use the Word version to change wording or add and remove clauses. Anything you commit to should be something you both understand and freely agree to.

What if we disagree?

Now you’ve found something worth talking about! Don’t try to settle it immediately. Filling in a blank is never a good reason to pressure someone into an answer.

Can we use it while we’re long distance?

Yes. Work through it over a call and keep a copy each. It includes communication during periods apart, as well as the broader questions about money, family, work and your future together.

Can we change it later?

Please do! There’s space to set a review date. Come back to it when your circumstances, priorities or needs change.

Is this legal advice or a prenup?

No. This is a relationship conversation and planning resource, not legal, financial or therapeutic advice. It is not sold as a prenuptial agreement or binding financial agreement.

Do not rely on it to establish legal rights or obligations. If that’s what you need, seek independent advice appropriate to your circumstances and location.

Will it guarantee a successful relationship?

No. You still have to have the conversations and follow through on what you agree.

I believe deciding how you want to treat each other (and what that means in practice) deserves a place in a relationship. This gives you somewhere to start.

Nothing in the template should override consent, restrict independence or pressure someone to stay.

Can I share or resell it?

Please don’t! I’m a small, independent creator and I poured my heart into this template for you. Please don’t redistribute, publicly upload, resell, sublicense or use the template commercially. Copyright remains with All The Rae.

Your purchase is for personal use by you and your partner. You can edit, print and save copies for your own relationship.

Put some intention into the life you’re building.

Set aside an evening. Ask each other the questions. See what comes up.

Get the printable PDF, fillable PDF and editable Word document together in one purchase.